There’s no time to be sick.
Since I’ve been a Mum, I have realised that there is no point to sick days. You simply can’t have a day off, because the state of your world when you face it, is worse than you can imagine. I hate the feeling that everything will just pile up about me if I am sick. That systems will fall apart and I wont be able to cope with the aftermath in my own home. It sounds very controlling but I think it is the head space for most Mums and busy small business hopefuls.
I came to Auckland from a privileged expatriate position in Vietnam. Helpers were plentiful, in the home, at work, driving my children about, assisting with gardens and pets. Yet, once I landed back in the real world, I was reminded of the huge responsibility I had to care for my family. Somehow, when you are truly busy, you become organised and create routines to see you achieve success. With that comes an energy from within that creates more desire to achieve and pushes you to even more goals and personal missions.
For me, of course, it has been a business centred around my insane love of food. I am passionate about it and want so desperately to share this with others. I have spent the past three years, grounding myself and creating contacts, proving myself and keeping my face out in public, sharing recipes and tips, cooking, writing recipes and hoping to help others be inspired about their own passion – whether its for food or something else they have secretly dreamed of achieving.
Then just as I hit a high, where I feel in control of my home, my gorgeous independent boys, and my hopefully burgeoning career, I hit a wall. And that wall is unexpected. A bloated tummy, that will not go away, a pain so intense that inspite of desperately trying to ignore it, I end up in intensive care. I can’t even focus on the floating words of the Doctors as I am in a state of shock, fatal, congenital, surgery. Surely this is just gas? Or an abdominal inconsistency? Perhaps a bug gone wrong? But, sadly not. This is serious. And of course this condition is rare.
Well that is SO not surprising – I just don’t do sick! And I sure don’t do it if it’s something ridiculous and normal! So defying all advise I left the hospital. This is my body and my choice. I have work functions booked, my kids are in plays and competition finals, I have a full time commitment at the Home Show. I feel like screaming – this is just not convenient. This is my moment – I don’t have time for you to be mucking about with my bowel. I NEED my bowel for goodness sakes – I am a cook – I cook, I eat, I LIVE FOR FOOD!
I am finally consenting to the operation. It really has come down to the rational that I have no choice. But, even today as TVNZ rang to ask me to appear on GoodMorning TVONE next Tuesday I hesitated only briefly before saying – Of course I can. I have to have my abdomen cut open next Tuesday but not until 11am – and I will have completed my cooking segment by 9.13am. No problem.
I don’t have time to be sick.